er, Melinda ‘Wendy’ Thomas, whose flame-red, pigtailed likeness has been the face of the chain since it started in 1969. She’s become a central character for the brand, a personality that can stand for Midwestern US quality values while also spitting truths as America’s sassiest fast-food chain on social media, just as famous for its Twitter roasts as it is for the pure beef patties it throws on the grill. It hasn’t taken long, therefore, for one of Wendy’s biggest barriers to setting up shop in Australia to present itself. No, not Ronald, Jack or Carl, but the ‘other’ Wendy. Wendy’s Milk Bar to use her full name, the one more known for ice cream, hotdogs, and shopping-centre food courts. Common sense would suggest that if Warner Bros. and the AFL can find room for two Tasmanian Devils (or Tasmanian and Tazmanian to get technical), then surely this should be a big enough country for two Wendy’s. Sadly, we all know that common sense doesn’t always win out. So, what if a middle ground can’t be found? How can the new Wendy’s avoid a Hungry Jack’s scenario this time around – like, who is Jack and why’s he always hungry anyway? In case of this worst-case scenario, here are a few alternative naming ideas to give US Wendy’s some food for thought. The full Aussie In the great Aussie tradition of sticking a vowel on the end of everything, there’s Wend-o’s. Another option is Matilda’s, taking inspiration from the unofficial anthem but running the risk of getting offside with the Matildas more famous for kicking goals. Maybe Sharon’s, which Australians will 100 per cent shorten to Shazza’s. Bit too close to Macca’s perhaps? The famous redheads There’s Nicole’s, as in Kidman, probably our most famous redheaded export, but she’s more likely to identify as blonde nowadays, which is problematic. Or Sarah’s after Succession’s Sarah Snook, but the popularity of that would heavily depend on whether you’re on Team Shiv, Kendall or Roman, or a Conhead. History-maker Julia’s, in honour of our first female PM Gillard (which might get under the skin of Pauline, whom we’ll preference last in this case). The progressives To keep themselves up with the times, perhaps going with a gender-neutral choice makes sense – modern names for a modern brand. Kelly’s, Jesse’s or Tyler’s could all work. Or we could take a leaf from the world’s richest man, borrowing the futuristic approach Elon took when naming his kids. Something catchy like X Æ A-12’s would really roll off the tongue. The no-go’s Clearly, there are also a few to avoid. Karen’s for obvious reasons; it’s great for a themed diner specialising in rudeness, not so great for a brand wanting to deliver great service. So, let’s consider that option cancelled. Likewise, Kate’s or Meghan’s might be divisive, depending on which side of the republic-royal fence you sit on. The robot’s recommendations Asked to suggest some “alternative names like Wendy’s,” ChatGPT offered up Walter’s, Wayne’s, Wilson’s, Whitney’s, and Willa’s; none of which quite hit the mark. For other suggestions to help localise, it spat out Aussie Wendy’s or Wendy’s Down Under, which don’t exactly gel with the brand’s American heritage. All came with the disclaimer to “Please note that these are just suggestions and the actual name chosen would depend on Wendy’s branding strategy and market research in Australia” – good advice, robot. What’s in a name? In an ideal world, the Wendy’s name makes it to our shores, along with its legendary Baconator®, famous fries and hot chilli (that’s right, they do chilli). Wendy really is the heart and soul of the brand, whose presence is as essential as cheese to a cheeseburger. But if that’s not to be, which name fits best? Well, none of those we’ve already mentioned. There’s only one name that can truly bring together the brand’s mass appeal with a uniquely Aussie quality. One timeless name that can represent a familiar, welcoming face that also knows how to bring the sass and attitude when called for. Dude, this is Kylie’s.